Gary (Muppet):
I reflect on my reflection,
And I ask myself the question,
“What’s the right direction to go?”
I don’t know.

Am I a man or am I a muppet?
(Am I a muppet?)
If I’m a muppet, then I’m a very manly muppet.
(Very manly muppet.)

Am I a muppet or am I a man?
(Am I a man?)
If I’m a man, that makes me a muppet of a man.
(A muppet of a man.)

Walter (Man):
I look into those eyes,
And I don’t recognize
The one I see inside.
It’s time for me to decide:

Am I a man or am I a muppet?
(Am I a muppet?)
If I’m a muppet, well, I’m a very manly muppet.
(Very manly muppet.)

Am I a muppet (Muppet.) or am I a man?
(Am I a man?)
If I’m a man, that makes me a muppet of a man.
(A muppet of a man.)

Both:
Here I go again: I’m always running out of time.
I think I’ve made up my mind.
Now I understand who I am.

Walter: I’m a muppet. I’m a very manly muppet.
Gary: I’m a man. I’m a muppet of a man. I’m a muppety man.

That’s what I am.